The Other End of Sunset

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Hello my (remaining) OtherEnders.

Many of you have asked why I haven't posted in a long time. The answer is, no surprise, complicated.

There is the easy stuff -- I've been slammed at work, traveling too much, and trying to focus on my book (much to my coauthor's surprise).

But I also feel like I've lost my voice. I have blogging laryngitis.

So rather than try to give a speech, let me give an anecdote.

The day you left, you got an early start
I opened the door to your room down the hall
I turned on the light
And all that I saw
Was a bed and a desk and couple of tacks
No sign of someone who expects to be back
--Mary-Chapin Carpenter

I'm lucky enough to be moving to LA, along with SL. That's great, and the new house is cool, and I love LA.

However, it also means I'm leaving the house I shared with Jeanne.

I've seen your face a hundred times
Everyday we've been apart
--Ozzy Osbourne

We are moving in several pieces, for various timing reasons, but we just finished the first part. We had people come and load a truck for us.

Two men I didn't know carried sealed boxes down the stairs, one by one, and out the front door.

Just like the two men I didn't know who carried a bag, zipped up, with her in it, down the stairs, and out the front door.

It should have been easier by three
our old friend fear and you and me

Every box I pack feels like I'm killing her. She's dying, again. And it hurts as much this time as it did last.

I am very glad I have SL in my life, I'm thankful for my friends and those that support me. And for you, my readers, as well. But I haven't forgotten.

The old buzzard was wrong.

Get this party started on a Saturday night
Everybody's waitin' for me to arrive
Sendin' out the message to all of my friends
Jeanne made me a set of CDs for a present once, including her favorite songs. One of which was that Pink tune. More OtherEnd soon, I promise, and on brighter topics.

Give the next taxi to someone who needs it, a bit more than you.


  • Douglas,

    Feels a bit strange calling you by first name, when I only know you through your blog and your work. Just wanted to let you that the Otherenders, as you call your readers, are out here, reading when you write. Your blog is one of the most well-written, witty, and, lately of course, moving I know of.

    - A reader from Europe

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:53 PM  

  • Douglas,

    A summer of moving for me too. First, selling the house I bought with my ex. Opening lots of memories and failed dreams as if they happened yesterday. Tears.

    And the fun of seeing worthless stock option grant certificates from a previous life at Schwab - validation that there's no value in staying in the same place.

    And the good feelings of buying a new home with my partner. I'm wiser, hopefully, so it's not quite a 'rush'.

    I won't say 'happy endings to you' my friend, I'm going to wish you tons of happiness for this next chapter.

    Looking forward to the book....

    Damien F.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:13 PM  

  • One thing is for sure, we all are born, and then die. Our time now, is now, and finite. Make the best of it.
    - Lena

    By Blogger Lena, at 10:24 PM  

  • Do you think it's as interesting as I do, that "travels" and "travails" are so closely related?

    That Mary-Chapin line always brings tears to my eyes, not unlike "This Shirt," which makes me sob like a baby the whole way through.

    Rather than view leaving that home and sealing those boxes as another death of Jeanne, perhaps you can reframe it and know that you're always taking pieces of her with you: Those boxes become birthday presents you can eagerly unwrap when you get to your new place, when you can see all the gifts she shared with you in new light. Remember the man you were then, and the man you've become because of her gifts, and celebrate the life to which she has led you.


    By Anonymous Heather W., at 7:35 AM  

  • Good to see a new post from you. Sorry that moving is so hard, I hope things work out well for you in LA. I have to agree with "A reader from Europe" that "your blog is one of the most well-written, witty, and, lately of course, moving I know of." Best Wishes to you.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:34 PM  

  • Living life one breath at a time, it seems, is easier said then done. Taking one breath at a time is natural and is done, most of the time, with no contemplation as to weather it should be taken or not. Simplicity and complexity seem to spill over causing the endless struggles that fill our days. No matter what activity fills our days, our nights, our thoughts some happy some sad and some just down right out in left field, we still hope we have breath for another moment, another day, another year. Moments in life add up and ultimately will be our life time and what we leave behind, the dash on the stone, are the stories that will be told and how the time given us was spent. Living life one day at a time, making an effort to enjoy every moment good or bad, living each day striving to truly appreciate the breathe we breath and embracing bumps in the road with an anticipation of the how it’s going to change us forever, is life at its best. Enjoy every chapter in life it builds character.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:36 PM  

  • Wow,finally updated!!!!!!!!
    So glad to read it.
    - A reader from China

    By Blogger Anemone, at 8:36 AM  

  • Hey. Hope you are doing okay. You are missed to be sure. Hope to run into you sometime soon amigo.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:35 PM  

  • I hope at 30 days out from moving, things are getting a bit easier. I remember moving from my first home - the home I had built, the home where I had picked the fireplace, the tile, the times it still hurts.

    I have had great adventures in the meantime that would not have happened if I had stayed in that house.

    I have bought a 'fixer-upper' and have more projects than available funds. Time to admit I have stepped off in the deep end of the pool - but life is never boring.

    I appreciate your blogs and hope you find your blogging muse when the book is finished and on the way to print. I know it can be draining to be working on content even when others do not quite get it.

    "Nil aon rud gan ceartu le mo shaol, mar sin beidh me ag dul ar aghaigh le dochas mor Eireannach."

    "Nothing in my life cannot be fixed, so I'll proceed with great Irish optimism."

    Best in all that is to come,

    By Blogger Laura, at 10:19 AM  

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